Post by Dr. Drakken on Apr 6, 2009 17:52:30 GMT -5
Title: The Medicine Cabinet
Summary: Just what would Shego be willing to say to keep Drakken out of her things? When Drakken gets a headache, he gets more than he ever bargained for.
Rating: PG for mild language and mild adult humor.
---
All he wanted were a couple of aspirins. It was just after one in the afternoon and Dr. Drakken’s back, shoulders, and head ached something fierce. The entire morning had been quite the work out, which could only mean one thing: it was moving day. And not only did Drakken have to move his personal furniture and the lab equipment, but also Shego’s stuff. For some reason, when the henchmen realized they were being asked to move furniture into her room and nothing else, there were relatively few volunteers. So it had been just the two of them for the majority of the day, the stray extra pair of hands appearing only when least needed. Sighing, Drakken flung the new kitchen cabinet doors open to peruse the shelf for some pain remedy. Unfortunately, Shego seemed to have beaten him to the cabinet.
Obsessive-compulsive though Drakken may have seemed, his organization came in the form of clutter—especially when it came to his medicine cabinet. Painkillers, barbiturates, and allergy pills in every sized and shaped bottle usually sat together in no particular fashion in his medicine cabinet. But not anymore. To Drakken’s horror, it seemed that the cabinet was set up more like his chemical storeroom—everything was compartmentalized as though a mix-up would instantly cause an explosion of epic proportions. And now, he couldn’t find his damned painkillers.
Allergy pills were on the far left, then the sleep aids in the middle, and there were all sorts of bottles to the right. At first, Drakken assumed that these right-side pills were all his and maybe Shego hadn’t bothered touching them. So he grabbed the first bottle of stuff resembling aspirin. He read the “active ingredients” tab and saw the familiar term “acetaminophen” and grinned. Tylenol. It was better than nothing. He screwed open the cap and poured a few pills into his hand.
“What are you doing?”
At the sound of Shego’s voice, Drakken jumped, spilling the pills in his hand and in the bottle all over the linoleum floor. Scowling, he crouched down to scoop them up.
“Taking medicine. What does it look like I’m trying to do?” he snapped.
Shego crossed the room and pushed herself onto the kitchen island. “Wimp.”
Drakken’s scowl deepened and he slammed the bottle back onto the counter and continued collecting dropped pills. “My back hurts. Not all of us are Amazon warriors, you know.”
Shego snorted and picked up the bottle. When Drakken looked up and caught sight of her face, he saw an expression of mild horror and amusement.
“Doc, do you know what this is?” she asked, holding up the bottle and shaking it for indication.
“Acetaminophen. Tylenol. I’m not stupid, Shego.”
Shego grinned and clapped her free hand to her mouth to mock-suppress a giggle. “It’s Midol, genius.”
“My-what?”
“Midol… you do know what that is, don’t you?”
“Tylenol, I assume. Now hand me the bottle so I can put the rest of these back.”
Shego laughed and pulled the bottle out of Drakken’s reach. “I can’t believe you have no idea what Midol is...”
Drakken growled. “I told you what it is. Give me the bottle.”
“…But then again, on your planet, they don’t even have women,” she finished with a wry grin.
“Shego! Give me the blasted bottle or so help me…!”
“In a sec. Just give me a moment to bask in your ignorance,” she said melodramatically.
“Fine.” Drakken slammed the pills down on the opposite counter and counted out two. “You win; keep your stupid bottle.”
“What are you doing?”
“—Aking oo of these.” He’d put two on his tongue and was now filling up a paper cup with tap water.
“I wouldn’t do that, boss. I really wouldn’t do that if I were you.”
“ –op –elling me what to oo.” He placed one hand on his hip somewhat childishly.
“Alright, fine. Take the stupid pills. Just know that they—along with the days-of-the-week pills are off limits here on out.”
Feeling triumphant, Drakken washed both pills down with his water and was sure to make an annoying and over-exaggerated “ah” sound as though thoroughly refreshed. Grinning, he turned to leave the kitchen.
“I’m just glad you took my Midol and not my birth control pills,” Shego said flippantly before turning over the bottle in her hand. Then, after a beat, her face fell and she said, very quietly but distinctly, “Oops.”
Drakken did not like to hear the word “oops” from his employees, but especially not from Shego. First of all, she seldom made mistakes. Secondly, when she did make mistakes, they were epic. He halted and turned about-face in one swift maneuver.
“What do you mean ‘oops’?” he asked warily. “Oops good or oops bad?”
“When has ‘oops’ ever been good?” Shego asked him gravely. She looked up from the bottle slowly and gave him a meaningful look.
“Y-you mean I took the…?”
“Was it white and long-ish?”
“Yes.”
Shego nodded solemnly. Drakken yelped and began clutching at his hair.
“Shego! What does this mean? What do I do? What’s going to happen to me?”
“I don’t know! I’m not the scientist!” Shego snapped. “All I know is that when I take them, they release a small amount of hormones.”
“What kind of hormones?”
“I don’t know… I don’t know!”
“Am I going to die!?” Drakken was now holding his stomach, as though he would be sick any moment.
“I think that’s a little over-the-top, Dr. D… But if I were you, I wouldn’t take any more of my pills. You never know… they aren’t designed for the male body.”
Drakken nodded, whimpering just a bit like a whipped puppy. “What should I do?”
“I suggest you go lie down for a bit. Rest is always helpful.” Shego sounded genuinely concerned and Drakken nodded.
“Yes…” he said softly, then, straightening up and gaining strength in his voice. “Yes, I think that’s a good idea. Thank you, Shego.”
“It’ll all be okay, I promise.”
She smiled at him reassuringly and watched as Drakken disappeared into his new bedroom. She waited until she heard the door shut to burst out laughing. When he awoke, he wouldn’t have a headache—and she would tell him that she’d already put all his medication in the master bathroom’s medicine cabinet. But for now, Shego would be happy to have some down time herself, secure in the knowledge that Drakken would not go through her medication or any of her other belongings without thinking twice.
Summary: Just what would Shego be willing to say to keep Drakken out of her things? When Drakken gets a headache, he gets more than he ever bargained for.
Rating: PG for mild language and mild adult humor.
---
All he wanted were a couple of aspirins. It was just after one in the afternoon and Dr. Drakken’s back, shoulders, and head ached something fierce. The entire morning had been quite the work out, which could only mean one thing: it was moving day. And not only did Drakken have to move his personal furniture and the lab equipment, but also Shego’s stuff. For some reason, when the henchmen realized they were being asked to move furniture into her room and nothing else, there were relatively few volunteers. So it had been just the two of them for the majority of the day, the stray extra pair of hands appearing only when least needed. Sighing, Drakken flung the new kitchen cabinet doors open to peruse the shelf for some pain remedy. Unfortunately, Shego seemed to have beaten him to the cabinet.
Obsessive-compulsive though Drakken may have seemed, his organization came in the form of clutter—especially when it came to his medicine cabinet. Painkillers, barbiturates, and allergy pills in every sized and shaped bottle usually sat together in no particular fashion in his medicine cabinet. But not anymore. To Drakken’s horror, it seemed that the cabinet was set up more like his chemical storeroom—everything was compartmentalized as though a mix-up would instantly cause an explosion of epic proportions. And now, he couldn’t find his damned painkillers.
Allergy pills were on the far left, then the sleep aids in the middle, and there were all sorts of bottles to the right. At first, Drakken assumed that these right-side pills were all his and maybe Shego hadn’t bothered touching them. So he grabbed the first bottle of stuff resembling aspirin. He read the “active ingredients” tab and saw the familiar term “acetaminophen” and grinned. Tylenol. It was better than nothing. He screwed open the cap and poured a few pills into his hand.
“What are you doing?”
At the sound of Shego’s voice, Drakken jumped, spilling the pills in his hand and in the bottle all over the linoleum floor. Scowling, he crouched down to scoop them up.
“Taking medicine. What does it look like I’m trying to do?” he snapped.
Shego crossed the room and pushed herself onto the kitchen island. “Wimp.”
Drakken’s scowl deepened and he slammed the bottle back onto the counter and continued collecting dropped pills. “My back hurts. Not all of us are Amazon warriors, you know.”
Shego snorted and picked up the bottle. When Drakken looked up and caught sight of her face, he saw an expression of mild horror and amusement.
“Doc, do you know what this is?” she asked, holding up the bottle and shaking it for indication.
“Acetaminophen. Tylenol. I’m not stupid, Shego.”
Shego grinned and clapped her free hand to her mouth to mock-suppress a giggle. “It’s Midol, genius.”
“My-what?”
“Midol… you do know what that is, don’t you?”
“Tylenol, I assume. Now hand me the bottle so I can put the rest of these back.”
Shego laughed and pulled the bottle out of Drakken’s reach. “I can’t believe you have no idea what Midol is...”
Drakken growled. “I told you what it is. Give me the bottle.”
“…But then again, on your planet, they don’t even have women,” she finished with a wry grin.
“Shego! Give me the blasted bottle or so help me…!”
“In a sec. Just give me a moment to bask in your ignorance,” she said melodramatically.
“Fine.” Drakken slammed the pills down on the opposite counter and counted out two. “You win; keep your stupid bottle.”
“What are you doing?”
“—Aking oo of these.” He’d put two on his tongue and was now filling up a paper cup with tap water.
“I wouldn’t do that, boss. I really wouldn’t do that if I were you.”
“ –op –elling me what to oo.” He placed one hand on his hip somewhat childishly.
“Alright, fine. Take the stupid pills. Just know that they—along with the days-of-the-week pills are off limits here on out.”
Feeling triumphant, Drakken washed both pills down with his water and was sure to make an annoying and over-exaggerated “ah” sound as though thoroughly refreshed. Grinning, he turned to leave the kitchen.
“I’m just glad you took my Midol and not my birth control pills,” Shego said flippantly before turning over the bottle in her hand. Then, after a beat, her face fell and she said, very quietly but distinctly, “Oops.”
Drakken did not like to hear the word “oops” from his employees, but especially not from Shego. First of all, she seldom made mistakes. Secondly, when she did make mistakes, they were epic. He halted and turned about-face in one swift maneuver.
“What do you mean ‘oops’?” he asked warily. “Oops good or oops bad?”
“When has ‘oops’ ever been good?” Shego asked him gravely. She looked up from the bottle slowly and gave him a meaningful look.
“Y-you mean I took the…?”
“Was it white and long-ish?”
“Yes.”
Shego nodded solemnly. Drakken yelped and began clutching at his hair.
“Shego! What does this mean? What do I do? What’s going to happen to me?”
“I don’t know! I’m not the scientist!” Shego snapped. “All I know is that when I take them, they release a small amount of hormones.”
“What kind of hormones?”
“I don’t know… I don’t know!”
“Am I going to die!?” Drakken was now holding his stomach, as though he would be sick any moment.
“I think that’s a little over-the-top, Dr. D… But if I were you, I wouldn’t take any more of my pills. You never know… they aren’t designed for the male body.”
Drakken nodded, whimpering just a bit like a whipped puppy. “What should I do?”
“I suggest you go lie down for a bit. Rest is always helpful.” Shego sounded genuinely concerned and Drakken nodded.
“Yes…” he said softly, then, straightening up and gaining strength in his voice. “Yes, I think that’s a good idea. Thank you, Shego.”
“It’ll all be okay, I promise.”
She smiled at him reassuringly and watched as Drakken disappeared into his new bedroom. She waited until she heard the door shut to burst out laughing. When he awoke, he wouldn’t have a headache—and she would tell him that she’d already put all his medication in the master bathroom’s medicine cabinet. But for now, Shego would be happy to have some down time herself, secure in the knowledge that Drakken would not go through her medication or any of her other belongings without thinking twice.
